Dear Gang,
You have to love VIP’s, those Very Important People who cause all sorts of chaos around the area as they just stop by for lunch and some “I love Me” pictures with the Marines etc. I received a call from higher headquarters somewhere out in the green zone that we had 6 congressmen arriving who just wanted to pop in say hi and then go tour another base. I said, “that’s fantastic, give them my number, I’ll say hi and they can stay there with you!” He just laughed at me “Nice try bubba, they are coming to you, I’m tired of dealing with them, and so I’m passing this monkey to your back.”
There was a weather system building to the south that looked pretty bad and I knew it would cause them to be stuck somewhere and by God, I was hoping not here!! “Hey, do you realize that we’re about to get hit with some weather later today?” maybe common sense would keep these VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE, there where they could have more fun and out of our hair. “Taco” he says, “That’s not a problem, just put them in your VIP lounge and let them cool their heels there” VIP LOUNGE!!!! Who do you think we are? The Air Farce, VIP Lounge… “We don’t have one” I say. He is still laughing, “Take them up to the Bing and let them smoke a Cigar”. This isn’t very funny, as much as I would love to entertain them up at the “Bada Bing”, I don’t know if they would like their picture being taken next to the mud flap gal on the wall. Plus it might be raining by then.
HHHHmmmmm, I’m thinking now, VIP lounge, I think I can fix that problem… make a nice cozy VIP lounge that they can relax, smoke a cigar in and watch the pretty sand billow up and swallow their aircraft and never want to come back. The day that they arrived, it was suppose to be a drop off here on a C130 and then picked up by some Army choppers to take them to another base. Now I’m happy, because they changed their minds and will tour another base not to far away from here. Things should run nice and smooth, the C130 drops them off, and they run onto the Choppers presto, VIPs are far, far away from me…
The C 130 arrives early; the choppers arrive late, so now I’m stuck with them by the taxiway waiting. Waiting for word as to why the Army is late. I hate that because folks look at you with this “brick” radio in your hand and expect you will know the answer, chop, chop. Tough since we don’t control those aircraft and have no visibility on them. Well with the delay I ask if they would like to move over to the VIP lounge? Congressmen X says, “VIP LOUNGE, that would be outstanding, please lead the way” I start walking to this wooden bench we had built with the new sign overhead I had just painted the day before that read “VIP LOUNGE” in blue. No special room, no plasma screen television, no coffee, only the best that we could offer…
They loved it, thank god it wasn’t raining. They ended up going to the other base, the weather came in that afternoon like I was told it would and they were stuck there for two days. I think they were shelled a couple of times which will make them think twice about coming on out here again. Just visit the Air Force bases over in Kuwait next time, they have some nice stuff there and no one is trying to kill you. Hell you might just make it in time for the water polo matches at the base pool, or the crud matches at the O club.
Well just remember this, “I went to war and Garrison broke out”….
OOOOHhhhhhh RRRRRRRRRRhhhhhhaaaaaa,
Semper Fi,
Taco
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The SandGram 
February 10, 2006 at 12:45 pm
I love this! My son is a Marine & in Iraq. I asked him if any “bigwigs” were visiting. He said “they can stay away”. Why? The answer is easy. “The bigwigs can go home, we can’t”. Stay home VIP’s & let the military do their job! You are in my prayers.
Laura,
Marine mom from Ohio
February 10, 2006 at 1:13 pm
Love your take on these VIP types. They’ve been treated with too much pomp too often! Maybe a small rug on the sand and VIP written on the fence would have given them a real good feel for the ME culture. You did great! Wish we were there to have enjoyed the laughs afterwards. How do you keep a straight face through it all!
February 10, 2006 at 3:07 pm
I love it! Did you send them to Capt B when you got done? Just play VIP hot potato;)
February 10, 2006 at 4:05 pm
Congressmen VIP’s? Darlin’, you and your Marines are the VIP’s!
Sam
.
.
February 10, 2006 at 4:45 pm
At least they know your not wasting money with fancy stuff. Gotta watch the budget! LOL YEE HAA
February 10, 2006 at 5:37 pm
When I think of all the $$$$ that is spent to send those fools over there to look around and get their pictures taken, it makes me want to puke – we could probably buy a lot of soldier supplies and put the money to better use. Too bad you couldn’t have taken them for a little walk down the path with the mud puddles and holes. Another great post! Keep ’em coming. Take care, be safe, God Bless and KYHD.
~J~
February 10, 2006 at 8:21 pm
OMG Taco you guys are expected to kiss these VIPs butt or something when they come, roll out the red carpet…omg…is it not enough you all are risking your lives over there for all of us here back home and ya’all have to pull out the VIP lounge. Well God bless you guys…I would of showed them where the tent was and ask them if they would like a camel ride and for lunch, camel meat sandwiches. I hope these visitors were supportors not any commie libs trying to look good for the election.
At any rate you and your buddies Taco have a great sense of humor and a much better attitude than I would of had!
God bless you all!
VIP….sheese!
February 10, 2006 at 8:22 pm
Thank you for making me smile today. I loved this!!! VIP lounge–now that is hilarious!! I wish I could have been behind the scenes too after they had all gone. =) Be safe!
February 10, 2006 at 8:31 pm
Excellent way to take care of those ‘VIPs’! Geez – you guys have more important things to do than to play show off with a buncha congress critters (or whatever).
Semper Gumby!
February 11, 2006 at 2:09 am
Leave ’em wait the heat, in the mud; rack ’em stack ’em in the smallest area. Sure in the bunker first (VIP after all) then all pile in on top of them; and hope they’re in the head at the next ‘incoming’. Hey, visit anytime.
February 11, 2006 at 2:16 am
Improvise–Adapt–Overcome.
Image is everything! As long as you made them feel special.
February 12, 2006 at 1:12 am
You certainly know how to treat guests! Fancy place to wait around until the ride shows up.
Thanks for the great story. I can just imagine how they took to being shelled! Hope the heads were nearby.
February 12, 2006 at 5:19 pm
I saw their visit on C-Span yesterday. Camera followed them mostly everywhere..except your VIP lounge! They went to Afghanistan next, that will be on Monday night. Even though VIP’s are a pain for you, we at home are glad for any word or chance to see our troops! I was glued to the show looking for faces I might know! We love you guys!
Semper gratus,
Donna
February 13, 2006 at 8:10 am
Yeah, next time lead them to a mud hole, a deep one.
I much prefer when Col. North goes over for a visit and we get to see his interviews and look for guys in the group that we are sending care packages to. He has such a love for you Marines that is so obvious too, I love that. Stay safe and thanks for the chuckle.
February 13, 2006 at 11:38 pm
He,he…I saw the visit on C-Span too.
I chuckled when they said they were delayed – “told you so” 🙂
February 15, 2006 at 3:22 am
You said “they loved it”? I guess they weren’t all bad!
How could anyone NOT love you guys?
February 15, 2006 at 5:29 am
Funny I didn’t see this post until after CSPAN aired the visits this weekend although I missed one of the bases on their visit I wanted to see which still bums me out.
Yes, it’s true it seems rather wasteful but at the same time I was rather excited to watch as any opportunity to see anything about the FOB that I wanted to see was good for me sitting here in NC. Of course, I missed the part I wanted to see but nonetheless I suppose all of their crap and the pain it is for y’all when they come has benefits for us waiting back home slight though they are compared to the expense and all. Sort of a selfish thing, maybe? Okay, so I admit it any news outside of the negative is eaten up by this woman.
They seemed to fair pretty well however with the the lack of pomp. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Congresswoman Lethenien so disheveled but still her perky self.
February 17, 2006 at 6:38 pm
I heard an expression the other day – I thought of it immediately upon reading your post….
“A self-made man, in love with his own Creator”
Now there is a definition of a VIP!
Cracked me up…..