The SandGram

Justice Sotomayor Regional – Round Two

They have the Justice Sotomayor Regional is up over at This Ain’t Hell... so go vote and fast before it closes.

1 Gregory John “Trident and trim” Schaffer v.
8 Mike “Goth Special Forces” Wilson

SCHAFFER: You might remember Schaffer from the classic “I contracted for sex with Bar Rafaeli and ended up with Betty White” debacle. Not that I’m in any way implying that dirty dirty Betty isn’t a monster in the sack, but probably less so than Schaffer’s current cellmate in prison. Which is good, because this dirtbag deserves every pounding the Queens can give him at Shawshank.

WILSON: I have to admit, I like this guy’s power move. He’s sort of saying “sure, I listen to cutter music (Morrissey, The Smiths) and wear eyeliner, but that doesn’t mean I can’t throw on an Army uniform with the tape on the wrong side.” Just a power move. Like taking a ham sandwich to a pig roast, or a date to the Playboy mansion. Dare I say it, I like the cut of this man’s jib! And his eyeliner by Mabeline.

5 Brian Leonard “T-Shirts and Tattoos make you a SEAL” Creekmur v.
4 Jackie Lee “What’s a forged DD214 between friends” Climer

CREEKMUR: I still find this guy’s look a bit unsettling, largely because I can’t decide if he looks like he just came out of a bottle and is here to grant me three wishes, or if his angry visage should emblazon a plastic bottle for some cleaning product. He started his SEAL thing to pick up a chick, and ended using it for other fraud, which is just another form of free speech, right?

CLIMER: Still an A-hole.

14 Daron “burned my 3 year olds butt” Soard v.
11 Robert “72 medals and a dump truck to carry them” Vaughn

SOARD: This guy is clearly a crowd favorite, but I don’t really get his story. POW Network links to his Facebook, which is still up. He still has some of the crap up there, like some dopey quote he attributes to his time at RTB. Which RTB says he was never at. He also apparently is not with his wife anymore, but is instead with some other chick who had pictures on Facebook with her with a black eye. I have no clue what is going on with this dude, but he seems like bad news.

VAUGHN: Soup Sandwich’s Great Uncle, Vaughn cracks me up every time I look at him. There’s so much going on in this picture I feel like I am having an epileptic seizure. I know it is a small detail, but I think what I like most is the green epaulette things that show he is in command. Apparently he’s not in command of any shaving implements. Then again, if I dressed like him, I’d hope I slipped and cut my throat with a Bic disposable.

7 Carl John “Hero of Every Pacific Battle of WWII” Pequignot v.
2 Jake “I rethunk whether I was in Astan” Diliberto

PEQUIGNOT: I actually called Pequignot last week to get his side of the story, and it was rather sad. “Grew up together, Two kids in the park, Carved our initials, Deep in the bark, Me and Alice. Now she walks through the door, With her head held high, Just for a moment, I caught her eye, As a big limousine pulled slowly Out of Alice’s drive. Oh, I don’t know why she’s leaving, Or where she’s gonna go, I guess she’s got her reasons, But I just don’t want to know, ‘Cos for twenty-four years I’ve been living next door to Alice.”

DILIBERTO: Who the F*** is Alice?

You and me ain’t nuthin but Mammals, so let’s vote like they do on the History Channel….

Tags: Stolen Valor, This ain't hell